v.
Chad Christopher Rainey
COURT OF APPEALS OF VIRGINIA
Present: Chief Judge Decker, Judges Malveaux and Friedman PUBLISHED
Argued at Richmond, Virginia
CATHRYN ROSE RAINEY OPINION BY v. Record No. 0572-21-2 JUDGE FRANK K. FRIEDMAN MARCH 8, 2022 CHAD CHRISTOPHER RAINEY
FROM THE CIRCUIT COURT OF HANOVER COUNTY Theodore J. Markow, Judge Designate
Taylor B. Stone (Janus & Stone, P.C., on brief), for appellant.
Alexandra D. Bowen (Jamie L. Allgood; Linda R. Scott, Guardian ad litem for the minor children; Bowen Ten, PC; Linda R. Scott, PLC, on brief), for appellee.
Cathryn Rose Rainey (“mother”) appeals from the trial court’s decision in a custody and visitation dispute between mother and Chad Christopher Rainey (“father”). The parties have two minor children (“daughter” and “son”).
Mother asserts a series of errors in the trial court’s handling of the custody and visitation
proceedings below. She argues that the trial court misconstrued its de novo fact-finding and decision-making obligations and, instead, acted as an appellate tribunal in simply “affirming” the juvenile and domestic relations district court’s rulings. She further contends that the trial court failed to identify the basis of its ruling orally or in writing as required under Code § 20-124.3.
Mother also claims that the trial court erred by abdicating its authority to decide visitation and by
granting father, in consultation with counselors, the power to decide when and whether to expand her visitation. Finally, mother challenges the trial court’s decision to award sole legal and physical custody of the children to father.
We affirm in part, reverse in part, and remand the visitation determination to the trial court.
FACTUAL BACKGROUND1
A. The Family Unit is Roughly Upended
Father and mother were married for sixteen years. For most of the marriage, mother was the primary caregiver to daughter and son, as father traveled for work around 130 to 140 days a year. By all accounts, mother was a loving and attentive parent who had good relationships with
both children. Mother and father lived with the children in mother’s parents’ house from the time son was an infant and daughter was born. The children were very close with their
grandmother (“grandmother”), who was a major part of their upbringing and helped raise the children; she helped mother take care of them while father was traveling for work and helped father with the children if mother was not home.
In 2016, when son was eight years old and daughter was four years old, father announced
that he was having an affair, and, according to trial testimony, did a very poor job of communicating this information—and his imminent departure from the family home—to his wife and children. He testified that the manner in which he delivered this news to his son was
“probably one of the stupidest things I have ever done.” A contentious divorce ensued.
Tensions between mother and father were high. For example, in 2017, there was an incident in which father assaulted mother and wrestled a phone from her in front of the children. Father also acted aggressively toward mother and grandmother with the children present on several other occasions. After the parties’ separation, the children exhibited anxiety and fear about visiting father.
[*2]B. The Post-Separation Relationship Between Father and Children
The trial court entered a final consent custody and visitation order on December 22, 2017.
This order granted the parties joint legal custody but gave mother primary physical custody and father visitation. The order directed the parties to continue to follow instructions from the clinical visitation supervisor and to gradually increase father’s visitation. The trial court remanded further custody and visitation issues to the juvenile and domestic relations district court (“JDR court”).
Visitation with father did not go well during this time frame. Testimony established that the children were reluctant to visit father, particularly overnight, and treated him disrespectfully.
Father also acknowledged, in retrospect, he may have tried to introduce his new girlfriend (now wife) to the children too quickly. The reunification process with the children and father was encouraged through therapy and counseling; this required multiple, weekly therapy sessions between the children and their therapist, and separate sessions between the children and a
reunification counselor. Mother was left primarily responsible for arranging these visits within her schedule and the children’s, as well as tasked with transporting them to the appointments.
For example, it fell on mother to take the children to these sessions thirty-seven times in 2017.
Father complained that the children remained reluctant to visit with him and were particularly unhappy during overnight visits with him; he blamed this on mother’s behavior. A.J. Johnson was the professional “boots on the ground” counselor helping the parties parent in live time. He
testified that he did not see mother doing anything to obstruct father’s relationship with the children and she “had no problem with [father] seeing [them].” In early 2019 father, himself, cut off visitation with an explanation that it was not good for him or the kids to continue without first repairing their relationship.
[*3]C. Mother Consents to Letting Father Assume Temporary Physical Custody
Father then filed motions with the JDR court to either transfer physical custody to him or increase his visitation. He alleged that mother had failed to facilitate visitation and had not supported the relationship between father and the children. In response, mother agreed to let father have full custody temporarily as a bridge to fostering reunification.
In light of the parties’ agreement, the JDR court entered a temporary consent order on
July 3, 2019, transferring physical custody to father. The order explains that the parties reached this agreement after speaking with Dan Kniffen (“Kniffen”) (children’s therapist) and Wendy
Haupt (“Haupt”) (reunification counselor). The judge had a meeting in camera with the children. The temporary order gave mother contact time only as the parties agreed after consultation with Kniffen and Haupt. The order itself did not restrict mother’s communication with the children other than this proviso—in other words, it did not limit mother to communicating with her children through letters at this point. (This restriction was added later.)
Both parents were instructed to continue their individual therapy, co-parenting counseling, and appointments with Dr. Nelson, a psychologist involved with the reunification process.
Mother testified that she agreed to switch custody to father to encourage the children’s relationship with father, and father did not dispute that mother agreed to the temporary custody switch for this purpose.[2] The temporary order explained it was the parties’ intention to work toward shared physical custody. The testimony and evidence at trial showed that mother believed this arrangement would be temporary.
[*4]Instead, since consenting to this arrangement, mother has not seen her children since July
3, 2019. The children have also not seen grandmother, a daily presence in their lives, since July
2019, though father has allowed daughter to exchange occasional letters with grandmother.
D. Father and the Counselors Strictly Limit the Children’s Contact with Mother
The reunification program to get father back in the children’s lives was premised on
immersing the children in contact with father. It is apparent that mother struggled with the relinquishment of her children, and her loss of contact with them, shortly following the July 3, 2019 transfer of custody to father. Dr. Nelson referred to this as “buyer’s remorse.”
Dr. Nelson prepared reports in connection with the custody and visitation proceedings; in the July 31, 2019 report Dr. Nelson explained daughter had written mother that she wanted to come home because she was unhappy, mistreated, and no one was listening to her. Following
this communication, mother wrote a letter to daughter and tried to deliver it through one of the therapists involved in the case. In the offending letter—in addition to urging daughter to give father a chance—mother wrote: “I know you are scared, sad, confussed [sic] and angry right now. You are feeling like you are being punished and you are, but not for anything you did . . . .
You don’t deserve this.” Dr. Nelson was concerned that this type of language was
counter-productive to reunification and, in conjunction with mother’s difficulty with therapy, Dr. Nelson concluded that mother should not have any unsupervised contact with the children.
mother and daughter were also caught passing notes clandestinely—without counselor permission—through an intermediary at daughter’s gymnastics class. This raised concerns for the counselors about mother’s boundaries and ability to follow rules.
[*5]Dr. Nelson completed another report on September 16, 2019, in which she indicated that the children were doing well with father.[3] Dr. Nelson explained that she, and the other professionals involved, thought it was in the children’s best interest to have contact with both parents, so long as both parents behaved appropriately. Dr. Nelson also explained that mother was so angry at father, unpredictable, and lacking in insight that exposing the children to her would be harmful; son could have increased depression, and daughter’s anxiety could be heightened. But, Dr. Nelson said this was a “difficult” thing for her to opine because mother
“[had] done so many good things as a parent . . . until [custody was switched on July 3, 2019,] and the children miss, need, and want to see her.” Dr. Nelson explained that mother had been
instructed to write letters to the children with the assistance of counselors in order to begin reestablishing contact but she had disengaged from participation in the therapeutic letter writing process.
E. The JDR Court Order Gives Custody to Father and Puts Visitation in Father’s Control
On October 9, 2019, following a hearing, the JDR court found a material change in circumstances had occurred since December 22, 2017 and entered an order in both children’s cases explaining its reasoning. It found that father made efforts to improve his relationship with his children, including therapy. Based on the September 2019 report from Dr. Nelson, which it incorporated into the order, the JDR court found that mother had undermined father’s reunification with the children by sending letters with alienating language to daughter. Mother was ordered not to have any contact with the children other than through therapeutic letter writing. The JDR court order gave father discretion as to when to increase mother’s visitation beyond counselor-assisted letter writing and required mother to solely bear the cost of a paid supervisor if one was chosen. Father has had the authority to permit visitation since that time.
[*6]Dr. Nelson completed yet another report dated July 17, 2020. She continued to show
concern over mother’s disengagement with reunification letter writing and found that the children were having issues with mother’s lack of communication. She opined that, if mother refused any sort of supervised or therapeutic visitation, mother should have no contact. Mother did not agree that visitation should be supervised, but her non-compliance with the prescribed counselor-assisted letter writing remained an obstacle to further contact.
F. Mother Appeals the JDR Court Decision to the Circuit Court
Mother appealed. A trial before the circuit court followed, during which the parties presented testimony from numerous witnesses over two days. The testimony and evidence are
summarized in the light most favorable to father. Prior to going to live with father in July 2019, the children had been allowed to behave in rude and hostile ways toward him. They called him by his first name, said they hated him, and refused to see him or contact him. The children were seen by Kniffen for therapy beginning in 2017, at Dr. Nelson’s recommendation. Kniffen reported that the children were anxious and in poor mental health when they began therapy. Son was depressed. Son’s condition has improved, as has daughter’s anxiety, since going to live with father.
After moving in with father in July 2019, the children’s relationship with him improved.
Kniffen saw the children frequently throughout 2019 and as needed following that. At trial, the evidence established that both children wanted to see mother; both children said they wanted their time with each parent to be split equally. At the time of trial, the children had not been permitted to see mother in sixteen months. They were both upset that they had not heard from mother since the summer of 2019 but clearly still loved, missed, and wanted time with mother.
[*7]Father’s mental health was examined, and there were no issues observed. He had
attended therapy to address anger issues. There were no issues presented with father in terms of keeping the children well taken care of and engaged in their normal daily lives. Son and daughter now appear to be happy and feel safe with father. Haupt testified that the reunification with father has been successfully resolved. The children were quick to embrace reunification and testimony established there were marked improvements in the children’s relationship with father within one week, to the point that they had resumed calling him “dad” and were laughing and engaging with him.
The evidence presented at trial was consistent with Dr. Nelson’s opinion that mother had been a loving, fit parent to the children prior to the custody and visitation issues with father.
Dr. Nelson found mother to continue to have significant anger towards father. Dr. Nelson and Kniffen were concerned about the damage mother would do to the children’s relationship with father if given unsupervised visits. At trial, mother continued to deny any role in the children’s prior distress at visiting father.
Mother’s only treating physician, expert psychiatrist Dr. Paul Spector, testified at trial.
He saw mother six times, and he found no issues with mother other than Adjustment Disorder
due to estrangement from her children. Dr. Spector stated that mother was fully capable of handling visitation and functioning well. He “ran her through the mill” and found no mental disease or reason for medication. He noted that the children had superb grades while in her care and that is usually a sign that home life is stable. He explained that when he saw her, she no longer had custody of her children and she was “understandably, extremely distressed, at not being able to even see her children.” The other counselors and therapists involved did not speak with Dr. Spector.
[*8]Mother was cross-examined about the issue of not writing letters to the children in a therapeutic setting. She explained that she had written letters to the children, which she dropped off with her therapist with the expectation they would be reviewed and sent to the reunification counselor for further review. Haupt, the reunification counselor, explained that she never received these letters. Dr. Nelson said she spoke to mother’s therapist, who confirmed receiving the letters. Dr. Nelson indicated that letters mother had tried to pass to the children were concerning because the tone was “not appropriate,” and she used “alienating” language.
When asked why she had not complied with the JDR court order requiring her to write letters to the children through the counselors, mother explained that she did not have money to continue to pay out-of-pocket for appointments with the counselors and that she no longer trusted the counselors or what the outcome would be. She added that she delivered letters as simple as
“I love you and I miss you” and the reunification team would not send them to the children because they were not written in a therapeutic setting—in other words, in the presence of a paid counselor. If she wrote letters they were rejected or used against her; if she did not write letters it was suggested she did not care about seeing her children.
G. The Circuit Court’s Ruling
The judge observed from the bench that this case bothered him more than most. He noted that he had questions about father’s experts and suggested that the parties should find new counselors to foster mother’s visitation. But the judge also expressed to mother that he could not imagine the stubbornness required to refuse to comply with the orders. He explained that he would not grant shared custody to mother at that time and announced that he would “pretty much affirm the lower court” ruling.[4] Both parties submitted written findings of fact prior to their closing arguments at trial.
[*9]The trial court found on behalf of father, and asked father to draft the order after consultation with mother. The parties were unable to agree on the language of the order—father submitted a letter to the judge explaining that the parties could not come to an agreement and were not able to schedule a hearing before the judge to resolve the disagreement about the order. The trial
court wrote a letter to the parties indicating that it reviewed the parties’ findings of fact and proposed final orders and found father’s proposed final order was consistent with its ruling and intent.
Father’s proposed final order largely mirrored his previously submitted findings of fact.
The trial court instructed mother to endorse father’s draft order and note her objections. The final order awarded father sole legal and physical custody. The visitation instructions crafted in the JDR court were essentially reimposed. Mother’s contact with the children was limited to
letter writing; her therapist would provide approved letters to Kniffen, the children’s therapist, and the letters would then be provided to the children who would receive them with Kniffen.
Mother would be required to review letters from the children with a therapist. Father was instructed to consult with the children’s therapists and expand (or rather, initiate) mother’s
visitation to therapeutic visits when “Mother is appropriate and will not cause harm to the children.” Father was given sole discretion to decide when to progress beyond therapeutic visits
to supervised visitation with a supervisor of his choosing, though mother was ordered to pay the costs for father’s chosen supervisor.
Mother timely appealed to this Court.